omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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