Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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