Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just pee around me
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
