PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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