haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
