so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
