I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
