If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
