my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
