Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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