Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
