it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
