***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
