I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
