thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
