I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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