He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
