Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
