Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
