her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
