he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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