It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
