He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize