I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think people are normalizing furries
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
