Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
