Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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