Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
someone threw a dead crab at me
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
