SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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