I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
