i think my mom watched the whole time
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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