So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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