Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize