He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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