This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
