how can u be prego again
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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