can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
