he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My feet surprised me
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
