doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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