What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
