You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
