Having a random hookup so left but love u
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
