I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
