Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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