could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
