when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
