One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
