Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
