He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
