I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I am naked and annoyed.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
