Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
