i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
